Don’t Blame Me for Hoping: A Journey Back to Self-Love

"Healing from heartbreak isn’t linear. It’s messy, human, and sometimes means forgiving yourself for hoping too hard. Here’s what I learned about self-love and letting go—maybe it’ll speak to you too."

There’s a girl inside me who refuses to fade.

She’s soft-eyed, wide-open, and fiercely convinced that love—pure, unfiltered love—can fix anything.
She believed if she gave enough, waited enough, stayed enough, love would turn around and choose her back.

I used to judge her.
Too emotional. Too dramatic. Too weak.
But now, after stumbling through heartbreak and hard-earned lessons, I see the truth:
She was the bravest part of me.

She didn’t hide behind walls.
She didn’t measure her worth by what she’d get in return.
She just loved—fearlessly, fully, freely.

When Trust Turns to Pain

But trust like that? It can sting.
Somewhere along the way, I started doubting myself—not because I didn’t have love to give, but because I kept pouring it into places that couldn’t hold it.

The questions crept in:
“Am I asking for too much?”
“Should I stop feeling this deeply?”
“Maybe I’m the problem?”

That’s how you lose yourself—not in a loud crash, but in a quiet unraveling. A slow fade of self-trust.

The Trap of Self-Blame

Then came the blame.
“I should’ve seen it coming.”
“I stayed too long.”
“I loved too hard.”

But something shifted recently. A whisper broke through—a voice I’d buried under years of second-guessing:

“I didn’t break you. I trusted. And that trust was beautiful. Don’t blame me for hoping.”

Tears came—not from sadness, but from relief.
I wasn’t angry at her anymore. That wide-eyed girl? She wasn’t naive. She was alive.

To My Past Self: You Weren’t Wrong

To the me who waited for answers that never came, who showed up even when love felt like a ghost, who said “sorry” for feeling too much—
You weren’t wrong.

You were navigating love in a world that sometimes forgets what it means.
You were holding steady while everything shifted beneath you.
You weren’t “too much”—you were real.

And that’s worth celebrating.

What Real Love Looks Like

Real love doesn’t shrink you.
It doesn’t leave you guessing or pleading for scraps.
It’s a space where your voice matters, where you’re heard, where presence isn’t a favor—it’s a promise.

Anything less? It’s not your failure. It’s a sign you’re ready for more—more truth, more connection, more you.

For When You Want to Give Up

If you’re tired—if hoping feels foolish—I feel you.
But hear this:
You’re not weak for trusting.
You’re not broken for believing.
You’re not hard to love.

You were just planting seeds in soil that couldn’t nurture them.
Now, you’re learning to choose better ground. Wiser ground. Ground that honors your roots.

That’s not defeat—that’s growth.

To You, Reading This

If you’re healing from heartbreak, piecing yourself back together, or wondering where you went wrong—take these words with you:

• You’re not too sensitive.
• Your love isn’t a flaw.
• You’re not the problem.

Your heart is rare. Your depth is a gift.
One day, the right people will see it—and they won’t just notice. They’ll stay.

Until then, be gentle with yourself. You deserve it.

A Note to Myself (and Maybe You)

Dear Me,
I forgive you—for holding on, for hoping, for loving with everything you had.
You weren’t foolish. You were free.

Now, choose yourself—not out of bitterness, but out of love.
Your heart isn’t a burden. It’s your strength.

Welcome back,
Whole & Enough